| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|02:21 pm] |
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add lambwonderful if youd like to be my lj friend, because im switching journals today. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|10:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | the morning | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the morning | ] | dear sluts
yesterday i finished my toothbook. because it was my first time using this structure, i made the covers too short. i will try to find a way for this to look like deliberate design. other than that, i think it's pretty sweet. ive been working on it for days. i will post about it later.
i got a's on my design projects. woooo. also i made a colorwheel yesterday and i think part of it is wrong. i have to fix that. it's like this difficult struggle for me to be as neat as design requires, but i console myself by thinking about how i don't need ot be neat in any other class ever after this.
ive been reading the house of dies drear. i read it in sixth grade but it was for school so i didnt pay attention. it is really sweet but kind of weird. like some of the dialog is really strange. i'm like why are these people saying these things? i can't explain it. but it's spooky and keegan keeps opening the door to our bedroom at night when im reading and i get really scared and then he has to sit there and explain why ghosts arent real. he is very good at convincing people that things don't make sense. like seriously... if you are ever worried about the supernatural existing, or about god existing, talk to keegan. those are probably not things that everyone worries about. but i do. i dont want to think about them because it makes life more complicated.
( i just had a vivid dream. )
today i have work at 1 in bethesda. it's cool, but i dont wanna like hike through this snow.... grossss. if they cancelled, i would be so happy. forever.
i seriously have enough homework to last me all weekend. so i'll be doing that. im down for a homework party... yeah..
im hungry now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|10:51 am] |
start liking this comic. please.
today i am going to edition my print. then i am going to go to weeg's daddy's house. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|10:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chocolate. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | kimya dawson. | ] | i made this fucking awesome pizza yesterday. from scratch! it was so good. weeg kneaded it which was probably one of the reasons but i did like everything else.
i have been working on my toothbook. and yesterday me and weeg went to yoga. and he joined fitness first even though it goes against all his principles because it really is the best deal on yoga. anyway, it felt really good, and then i got some tiny eclaires from yasaman. you guys should check that place out. it's this persian bakery near my house [on the pike, in ritchie center]. one time my sister had her birthday catered by them. anyway, you get all these tiny pastries by the pound. its so cool. when me and weeg get married, or you know, whatever marriage equivalent i can get him to agree to, i will have all these mini pastries. when i model for art classes i have lots of time to think about these things. babies and weddings and my future house in the country but not too far away from the city. like frederick! i want to live in frederick or hyattstown. and call my house villa villakulla and have a sweet yard. and paint everything. oh! come the spring, i will have cute porch furniture for this little apartment so we all might have sandwiches and things. once, raphs dad made me a veggie dog with avacados. or i made it at his house. one of the two! and it was so great.
my hammies are so sore from yoga. and.. okay guys... keegan is going to shave his head again. he keeps talking about it. if he posts in the near future, you need to REVOLT. or maybe just go to his latest post and tell him NO.
oh man, today id like to get some things done but also go somewhere exciting.
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| true dat. |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|05:55 pm] |
he said he cant get my butt out his mind....
i do not wish to go to work from 7-10 on a friday night! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|10:40 am] |
| [ | music |
| | i always forget i have that option | ] | ( gnash gnash )
i am so behind in drawing that i am just going to ignore it and do things as i will!
schedule: lake. school. concentrate. drawing. home.
and a tuna sandwich in there. |
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| a list. |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|11:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | this music is wrong. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | invisible touch. | ] | -i live 2 minutes away from a lake, walking, and i never knew. -i found a yellow schwinn in awesome condition in the trash yesterday, but keegan wouldnt let me keep it because it was too big for me. -the egypt game is an awesome book. you guys should check out the library, because it's awesome. people rent movies, why not books? -i tried to make a drawing for my personal imagery class yesterday. it was of all different parts of treetrunks merging together fluidly. it started out very well. then it sucked. i think i brought it back this morning using burnt sienna ink. anyway, i think it's a fine idea. executed poorly. i do lots of collage. i should be using wood, and not paper that warps. i will buy wood asap. -i am the youngest person in my imagery class. the teacher was like "how did you get into a 400-level class?" all i did was sign up. anyway, she is skeptical ahout me so it's important to me that i prove her wrong. i already did a little bit. but it certainly doesnt help to miss class last week and have a semi-okay piece to show for it. -ive been wearing eyeliner to feel hot. it really works. it makes me feel hot. -as soon as this bronchial cough goes away, i will begin to run. as for now, i cant even walk outside without having coughing fits. -i dont understand the difference between a drawing and a painting. because you can draw with paint and other wet materials. i would like to understand. -keegan always kisses me goodbye longer than i think he would in the morning. every morning. it's usually what i wake up to. it's really nice. -each semester, i reach a point when i really would like to drop out of school. i start to get inspired in other ways and lack the time to do anything about it. last semester it passed, and i really was grateful to go to school. keegan and i have discussed how someone could spend $18,000 [actually, a lot less] a year on art supplies and a mentor rather than tuition. i really think my school is worth attending though. you have all these really artistically intelligent people there to guide you, and they want to guide you. and being around other artistic people is the most beneficial thing for me. still, it's really expensive. -sometimes i wish there was one thing i wanted to do and i would just work toward that goal. but you know what? there's a lot of things id really like to do. -keegan and i decided to go to asheville on greyhound for a weekend. i was fantasizing about better places to live when we were sitting at the newly discovered lake. it's funny how people do that the second they are mildly dissatisfied with their lives. you dream about new things, new circumstances, new viewpoints. something that fixes. everything. anyway, id still like to go to asheville, because i like frederick a lot and it's kinda like that. and i love north carolina. -also, id like to truck up to new york sooner than later. it's been awhile. id really like to see the creaky boards but it's during the week so keegan has work. -tuna is like my power food. all sorts of fish. i dont feel that way about other meats. i dont really eat other meats anymore, i guess. -it's valentines day. i dont hate valentines day, but i do find white teddy bears and russell stover chocolates embarrassing. like a lot. people can make holidays really ugly. one time, while i was dating jay, he did this huge valentines day thing for me. with rose petals and all that kind of thing. i dont like things like that. because it meant a lot to him, i appreciated it, but it really just felt like him pressing for me to be someone i wasnt. he did that all the time. it was awkward. that's a good word for it. but i appreciated it, awkwardly, in the same way i appreciated it when my religious aunt gave me a bible for graduation. -i love making cards. and spreading love and cheer. cards really work for that. it's true. -the other day, a boy at my school gave me a single rose. he was doing a project and needed a rose, but he had to buy a dozen. so he went around giving eleven roses to girls. it really made me feel nice. but i couldn't help peeling it apart on the metro. just like a styrofoam cup. -i can't wait until springtime. right before every season you get really really excited. and i love that. i want patio furniture! and quirky thing for our yard. -i am in love with keegan. |
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| recycle |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|10:10 pm] |
in case anybody cares, if you go here[the direct marketing association] you can stop getting as much junk mail. & if you apply in the real mail, it's free. and you should reapply every five years.
it's good for the environment if there is less junk mail.
and recycle, guys! recycle. i think it's important.
another easy thing to do is to shop with canvas bags. i started doing that. just when you're pointedly going shopping, like to the grocery store or something. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|11:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sickish | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing! | ] | ATTENTION!!
VALENTINES ARE GOING TO BE LATE!
I AM SO SORRY. I HAD THE FLU DURING THE CRUCIAL WEEK!!!
now i gotta go to work and i dont want to because i have this bronchitis cough and it's really hard to sit still. and i have to walk really far in the cold. but i need money and i cancelled on these people last week.
but i dont wanna go! i feel okay but i dont feel up to sitting still for hours! WHEN I COULD BE FINISHING MY VALENTINES GOSH.
maybe i'll buy a donut tonight with the weeg. or maybe we'll see REALMS OF THE UNREAL which i really wanna see.
all i know is i really wanna do it without coughing the whole time. HOTT. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2005|11:27 am] |
if you guys want valentines, i gotta see some addresses.
addresses!!!
asap. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2005|10:07 am] |
YOU GUYS POST MEMORIES OF ME!!!
preferably your first. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|03:19 pm] |
oh my god!!
i had elephant stickers made. and they just came in the mail. AND I HAD NO IDEA THEYD BE SO AWESOME. |
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| me v. public education once again. |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|08:30 pm] |
i am bitter about public school. here is the list of classes, out of the [7x2x4=56] FIFTY SIX i took, that i remember and valued.
-geometry. i actually have fun doing geometry. -nsl government. solely because i knew nothing AT ALL about government before this. and now i know terms like "gerrymander" and "electoral college." i think im better off. -typing. i typed fast before, but now im like lightning. -ap environmental science. but then that was when i failed life so i only did like half of it and i had a 12%. -possibly english, but only because i read good books on occasion. and that worked out better when i went to private school and took literature.
so there! FOUR AND A HALF CLASSES.
i dont regret it. its hard to regret much. there were positive social ties and everything.
i do regret allowing the public school system to make me feel incapable. as though the day i graduated i would suddenly be a valid human being.
i am so unschooling my children!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|02:58 pm] |
oh mannn. my creaky boards cd came and it was BLANK.
now i gotta wait even more. |
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| not very interesting. |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|11:31 am] |
| [ | music |
| | washing machine. | ] | im real sick. it's weird, i dont feel like have a cold, i just feel like someone slammed me against at wall.
and i must be emotional today. i just watched 7th heaven and cried the whole time. that show gets to me.
i have a lot of work to do but i feel like i wanna barf.
yesterday i got two fancy sandwiches for the price of one. i was all about that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|09:54 am] |
 i love you neffanie barrow.
<3 <3 <3 <3
ive been having these long long days where i get home at like ten/eleven at night. i have late classes. and its this whole long trek home. but at least im never late for class.
im taking drawing for the first time in about a year and a half. ive drawn since then, like all the time, but never in a class. it already is so good, i can tell. we get a shitload of homework though. by next week i have to have a portrait of every person in the class, and then this huge ass drawing of one of the 100 objects we drew last week, and this drawing in the style of georges seurat, and a window or stairs. its just a lot to think about for one class, i think. but drawing is one of those things you gotta be good at. and i like it. and id honestly like to improve. my advanced drawing class [developing your personal imagery] is fucking sweet so far. my mind is thinking in new ways! [im afraid i might have sounded like a dork just them but i meant it in all sincerity, so taking it back would be compromising myself.]
after class yesterday, me and pierette got a good look at the white house. id never really seen it full on. and its um.. two doors down from my school. so we were just standing there and it looked like a big wedding cake. pierette said she went there before and they were like "no loitering. 90 second limit." one time me and pierette had a genuinely evil laugh. it was my first and only.
wow... im really just wasting time. i have to be at school from 12-9:30. g2gz. |
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| bright eyes. |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|11:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lots to do. but okay. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | diane cluck and video game guns. because its sunday morning | ] | yesterday i went to the bright eyes show with weeg because david was awesome and gave us his tickets. they didnt play as many slow songs as id like, but it was okay. they played one foot in front of the other which is my favorite. and everyone loves conor oberst....sp?... and its sad because everyone screams about how they want his body but theres like six other people in the band.
but tilly & the wall was fucking so cool. they tapdance! for percussion!! like.. i knew about the tapdancing, but i didnt know they all do special stompdances and clapping. it was so awesome to watch. it made me so happy and i wanted to be in their band. and coco rosie was also fucking sweet. the girl has such a weird voice. i heard them before but i thought it was like old music from records all mixed up and everything. but she really just has this scratchy voice. it was really cool. plus they had this screen with all these drawings on them and i liked the drawings.
and before that me and weeg went to adams-morgan with paul and his bf brandon and i had my first fucking falafel sandwich and it was so good. i will be adding that to my diet. and then i ate a cookie and i could tell it was vegan because it tasted like dough.
i got more diane cluck cds in the mail. beautifullll. and today i watched drop dead fred. i was supposed to go to open studio for printmaking, but the trek would be most difficult in today's ice storm. so i hope i can finish everything needed on wednesday. i have... so much work to do today. 80 more drawings for my drawing class, and one final drawing for this other class which will take a while and a lot of thought.
ps, me and weeg bought a domain, and were totally gonna have a website up in the near future. details later. |
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| one hundred memories for fun, |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|04:50 pm] |
1 in eighth grade jenni butler told me she was a witch. i said she wasn't. she asked me if id like to serve as a "human sacrifice." i said "sure, i dont care, because youre not really a witch." and then chris scott asked me if i believed in god. i said no. he called me a satanist. i told him i didn't believe in satan either. he wrote "SATAN BITCH" on my project. i guess he told shabari too, because in spanish class shabari called me a "devil worshipper." then franky yelled at him. and amber wrote chris scott creepy notes about being a satanist. 2 i found a shamrock eraser on the ground today and then i remembered how in elementary school you could go to the school store early and buy erasers. and we had an eraser club. i kept mine in a school box. i guess i left it in the car because at some point they all melted together. i always liked the translucent ones. 3 collin wong lent me a plain number 2 pencil once and i lost it. later, when i had all my pencils, i gave her a new one. i was feeling very generous and gave her the irridescent kind with stars all over it. i remember lauren coming up to me and asking me very concerned, "caitlin, why'd you give collin such a nice pencil when she gave you a boring one?" and i like how that was an issue in third grade. 4 my third grade teacher used to always mention tabitha because she had her in her class the year before. she told us tabitha really wanted a cat but her mom was allergic so she only wrote about cats for a year and then she eventually got one. i dont know why that appealed to me so much but i really wanted to be friends with her. so the next year, me and tabitha were in a combination 4th and 5th grade class. each 4th grader got to pick a 5th grader to be their computer partner so i picked her. she didnt want a partner and i could tell. then she told me she didnt want a partner but i was really determined so i kept sitting there and she made me a bracelet the next day. then i followed her around and did everything she did for like a year or two. 5 in first grade i was new at school and didnt talk to anyone. even when i was older, mrs. winternitz told me how quiet i was. thats really weird because i was always loud after that. every day we sat down and thought of words that began with a certain letter. i waited so long for S day because i wanted to say "psychological!" and sound really smart. but psychological begins with a p and i know that now. and then one time i was sitting at a table and i was alone with mrs. winternitz's book. she used to give out little heartshaped cards with messages on them. the book had a heart in it as a bookmark and i took it out to see what it said. then i felt the most immense guilt i can remember because i had lost her page. the entire day i nervously avoided the subject. 6 amanda told my entire third grade class that janis and i were lesbians. 7 my fifth grade teacher once told these girls to go away so she could talk to me. then she told me how when she was a kid she'd lay upside down and pretend you had walk on the ceiling and step over the place above the doorway. 8 sometimes my class would join mrs. seguin's class in first grade. she gave out prizes all the time and i couldnt believe what luxury those kids lived in. 9 i can remember being in the car with my mother on the way to norbeck montessory school, thinking "this is now and soon it will be later." i did the same thing in elementary school walking down the hall in line [in LINE? thats so weird.] and that is how i know that its later now, and before i know it i will have babies. because like wtf, that was fifteen years ago and im just as conscious as i ever was. 10 when i was sick my dad would bring me like LOADS of teen magazines and tabloids and coloring books. 11 me and my cousins used to hang out an old chicken shack filled with bags of antifreeze. 12 i followed my cousins when they stole my dad's firecrackers and i got yelled at for a long time for it. i think its important when lecturing, yelling at your children, that you make it clear that they are not a criminal and they could not have known what they were doing would be wrong. at least when they're six, gosh. my parents were like "YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR STEALING!!!' and i was like "WHAT HAVE I DOOOOONE!!!" i didnt even want any fucking fireworks. i have no use for them! 13 on vacation when i was young, my dad told my cousins [two boys, four years older, and they were like my brothers] that if they were nice to me hed take them jet skiing. they were mean to me and when i got fed up i was all like "I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU!@! JETSKI!!" then they flipped out and came down with underwear on their heads and did a dance and gave me candy. this was also how i learned that power corrupts because i said jetski everytime they spoke and they got really mad. 14 in preschool, my best friend ryan got me the baby my little pony that pees and then when it pees hearts show up on its diaper. kids like the weirdest shit. my parents tried to raise me on lincoln logs but no dice. 15 me and my sister ripped the head off a barbie and replaced it with a plastic [but very realistic] chicken head. that birthed the adventures of chicken head barbie [chicken head barbie goes to the mall, chicken head barbie goes to prom..] 16 my sister always told me i was found in a ditch. or that shed asked for a little sister but instead, by mistake of the factory, gotten a little monster. 17 in all my dreams as a young child, my sister is smiling and oblivious. i think its because in real life she had no interest in talking to me until i was 15. 18 i used to walk around naked all the time until i was like ten and it would embarrass normandy [then 14] when her friends would come over. one time alison came over and i was wearing a bathrobe and i stood up and my crotch was showing. and i was 13. it was so embarassing. were friends now though. but she saw my 13-year-old crotch. 19 i was in a church choir but i knew nothing about god or jesus. i had to go to sunday school once a month when we performed. we did a craft involving our favorite psalm. i was all like "whats a psalm??" and they told me. the one i selected was "the owls and sparrows will take over the fields." i am great. 20 my dad lived in a crawlspace above his office for awhile. my mom told him it would be a nice gesture if i drew him pictures. i drew him really lame pictures and i think theyre still up there on the walls. one was a dragon and it said "olney dragons." even at the time i was like wow this is lame. 21 this dude bruce had an illegal aquarium in my backyard but me and normandy used to play with newts. i have a distinct memory of her letting a newt run across her hand and switching hands... i cant explain it but its in my head. 22 i had a huge crush on danny kodan for a long time. someone had written "alex" on normandy's shoe and i was always like "ooohhh, you like alex!!!" and shed be like "stupid, alex is a girl." and then i told her i liked danny kodan. i was very nonchalant about it, but normandy made fun of it because i made fun of her because it said alex on her shoe. i was addressing valentines one day [at this point, everyone in my family knew i liked danny kodan] and i was putting lisa frank stickers on the envelopes. i had picked a nice, neutral fish for danny's, LUCKILY, because everyone immediately was like WHAT KIND OF STICKER DID YOU PUT ON DANNYS VALENTINE??? fuckers. let a child crush! the point is they all made fun of me. 23 i danced with jason hood for about twenty seconds at a sixth grade dance but got embarrassed because jessica paid brittney in skittles to go spy on me and they laughed because we were slowdancing backwards. meaning i had my hands around his waist instead of his neck. because of this, i never slowdanced again until my senior prom which was lame anyway. i blame myself for being oversensitive/insecure. 24 in middle school, franky told me the reason he would continue to date katie fasbach was that it made it easy to tell people that he and i didnt like each other. and that was true. BECAUSE WE DIDNT GOD GUYS OKAY/?? WE DIDNT!! thats how we always reacted when people said that. i remember stacie cannon came up to us on the bus and was like "OHMIGOD, WHY ARENT YOU GUYS DATING?? YOURE LIKE BFF!!" and we were like "you and ian are best friends, why dont you guys go out?" and shes like "ew hes like my brother. whatev you guys are going out now!!" and she ran off the bus. and then later she like gave that guy a bj. more power to her though. more power to her. 25 in fifth grade, meg rowland spelled "narrate" correctly on a spelling test and i didnt [it sounds like narrorate!!]. i prided myself on my spelling a lot so i was shocked.
maybe the other 75 will come later. im not lazy, but they would be forced right now. |
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